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half the time

from Dehiscence (2020) by Wendy Eisenberg

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about

for john berryman

lyrics

i want to be told that i'm the most beautiful for years of night
i want to be old i want to be purposeful
once in my life i heard i was but now i hear that i'm crazy, unwell, difficult

but who spins it so that i'm the deficient one, it's not just me
i want to be old so this can stop bothering me
its ceaseless yell i heard myself making i hear it sounds desperate, not good, pitiful

i know you think that time will be fair
i don't trust you anymore
i no longer think it's worth it

i see you with your spotless record getting free
patterned beautifully :)

it's finally done, i'm now the most beautiful and in my night
i don't need to be told a nice ending or anything
once in my life i thought i was bad now i feel i'm good maybe half the time

credits

from Dehiscence (2020), released April 30, 2020

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about

wendyeisenberg Brooklyn, New York

wendy eisenberg is an improviser and songwriter who uses guitar, pedals, the tenor banjo, the computer, the synthesizer and the voice.

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